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Wow, has blogging become the monster that eats my spare time!?! Look, I have 2 (technically 3, but that’s not important now…) blogs, yet no time to write on them, or so it seems… Suddenly everyone I know starts conversations with, “I see on your blog you’re……” Instead of keeping me in touch with friends and family, I sometimes feel it’s driving us further apart, for what is there left to talk about if they’ve already read what you’re doing??? Not to mention, there’s the feeling of, “do I have anything interesting to say???” I used to post about our house search, then we moved. Then I switched to our quest for a country-lifestyle friendly car. We have one now. Posting about church spun everyone up. So does posting my opinion on tons of other stuff. So you say, well, if you put it out there, people will respond… But I Hate CONFLICT. I feel what I feel, and if you don’t agree, that’s FINE, but please, just leave me out of it. Ugh. Now with everything I type I wonder whose toes I’ll be stepping on. (Will I be stepping on them just by admitting I’m afraid of stepping on them for instance…) Honestly I’m not out to change the world. But how much longer can I blog over here about the day to day nothing & everything of my life? There are some blogs I read daily, and I’ve begun to wonder what it is I like about them. Simple graphics, nice pics, short posts, on interesting topics. (a laundry list of to do’s this is not…) You’d think with a blog title like “My Simple Gifts” I could figure this out… I think a journal would have been easier………..
Having posted for a while now on my other blog I realized that it wasn’t always quite working for me. I wanted a place to ramble about other things. So here we are.
I was pondering boxes today. Not cardboard or wood, mind you, but people boxes. You know, those things other people are always trying to fit you into. Square peg, roung hole and all that. Why do you think that is? Is it so hard for us to accept each other at face value that we must try to make each other conform to a particular box? Or is it that we, as humans, are so uncomfortable with the unknown that we must try to immedately cram new people into a known box, label, or stereotype rather than face our own fears and insecurities.
Let’s take me for example. Put me in an easy box. Wife. Mom. Go out on a limb and you might qualify it enough to say stay-at-home mom. Done. Taken care of. But how much does that tell you about me? Not much really. If I tell you you can’t describe me by my relationships but must describe me, personally, does it become more difficult? Could you describe yourself this way? You see… when I tried to come up with a user name, I found it to be far more difficult and time consuming that the task warranted. I already have a blog where I talk about homeschooling my kids, doing stuff for my family, and what the collective WE have been up to.
But what about me. Ballcapnoveralls used to be what I used, but that’s not a great fit now… 3jemsmom, kinda cutesy, but would work in a pinch… mrsdobbs… too much explaining to do…so, nope, not that either… Try to describe yourself in one short phrase that no one else has come up with, and still avoiding the lame-ness factor (me123@…), and it’s suddenly crucial that you have some real sense of your personal identity. I’m still not sure I hit my mark… but I started thinking about things that were meaningful to me. My family. My home. My own beliefs, opinions and convictions… Not that I don’t want he world to know I’m a happy wife and mom to 3 girls, but, It’s more than that. The shaker song, “Simple Gifts” came to mind while I was pondering this, and I think it fits.
“‘Tis a gift to be simple, ’tis a gift to be free, ’tis a gift to come down where you ought to be, and when you find yourself in the place just right, it will be in the valley of love and delight.”
My life is a simple gift. Quiet, uncomplicated, yet very satisfying. I am who I am. I get to decided every day what creative thing I want to do next. Drawing houses is always a great option, maybe someday we’ll live in house I’ve designed. Scrapbook? Write? Sew? Cook something new? Read something new? Or just hang out with Al and the girls, now that life is like a vacation for us from Monday morning through Friday afternoon. It’s like going to college all over again and just auditing all the great electives.
3 things I did this week that might surprise you:
1. I learned a few basic pronunciations of phrases in Setswana, the language of Botswana, as a book I’ve been reading made me curious.
2. Did more online research into the long term side effects of certain anti-convulsant drugs, and the long range implications of this for us as a family.
3. Conquered my IMMENSE fear of heights and walked across a cable bridge at Fall Creek Falls SP that 7 years ago I swore I’d never walk on again.
I think I’m going to need a bigger box.
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