They say all good things must come to an end, and alas, this blog is one of those things. From now on, if you want to know my deep thoughts on anything, you’ll have to sort the wheat from the chaff over on my new site: Life Gets Messy. So… So long. And thanks for all the fish…
After today’s blogging craziness, I’d like your opinion. Where should I blog? Please check out my link below, and leave me a comment as to where you’s rather see me blog, and why. thanks.
Today’s the day I think. I was considering blogging my way across the country and back. But I think instead I’ll just take a break. Blogging started as a way for me to maybe keep in touch with out of town family and friends, and to maybe meet a few other women with similar interests along the way. And it has done that. It has also done more. I’ve hit a few nerves along the way. Closer to home than I expected, really.
So here’s my official blogging disclaimer: I don’t blog for you or about you. It’s a selfish thing for me, really. And, if one day I post something you don’t like, or my views on life aren’t yours, then I’m sorry. Feel free to stop reading. Did you expect me to be all PC online? Anyone who’s actually met me and has a clue should know better. I’m not always the nice, quiet SAHM. Rarely am, as a matter of fact. But I’m here. Trying. Even though it’s not always easy. If something I post bothers you, feel free to post a retaliation. Right here. I challenge you to be ballsy with me. Not on the phone, or in my e-mail where no one else has to know. Don’t tell someone else something I say bothers you, I’ll probably still “say” something about it here anyway. I am who I am. So sorry if that doesn’t always sit well with other people. Maybe things you say and do don’t sit well with me either, but hey, I figure you’re entitled to your opinions just like me. That’s what makes life interesting- that we’re all different.
I try to cook from scratch (yet we ate at Pizza Hut tonight), I homeschool, shop locally, go to an ANGLICAN church, drink beer, vote libertarian, wear pants, have short hair, drive a truck, cuss too much, and tend to honk at people I don’t know on the road if I think their face might be funny when I wave (who was that crazy chick, anyway??). I never said anyone who reads here has to do everything I do. It’s up to you to do what’s right for YOU. This is just my life I’m sorting through, and trying to love my kids and husband through the whole mess no matter what. The best I can. I only hope each person who reads this tries to do their best at whatever it is they do, wherever THEY are at right now.
Maybe you buy takeout, send your kids to public school, drive a hybrid, work at a great job, and have none of the same vices I have. Heck- maybe you’re an EPISCOPALIAN! or maybe even a REPUBLICAN! (-; Hey. Good for you. I hope you’re doing it well, the best you can and that it’s working for you.
That’s the point after all, isn’t it? Life isn’t a contest, and I’m certainly not trying to win any awards here. I’m just being me. And for the next couple of weeks, I think I’ll just go be me in person and skip the internet. So here you go. Your get out of jail free card. If I don’t write, you don’t have to read it. Everyone’s happy. I personally am going on vacation. With my family. In our SUV. Somewhere else. And I plan to have a great time. Maybe I’ll finish reading Thoreau. And I’ll probably drink a beer or two. You should give it a try. The beer or Thoreau. They’re both good. You never know, you might find something you like…
Peace~
Shari
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
From Thoreau’s Walden
Wow. It’s been a very long time since I’ve found myself this challenged or enthralled by a book. Thoreau’s Walden. I’m only forty pages into it, and have found myself scrambling for a pen and a journal to write down that which most catches my attention, reading passages aloud to my patient husband, and having to re-read passages to be sure I’ve missed nothing, yet sure, at the same time that I have. For something written in 1845 to be so relevant and profound today is truly amazing. My mind whirls at the implications…
From page 19…
“There are nowadays professors of philosophy, but not philosophers. Yet it is admirable to profess because it was once admirable to live. To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. It is to solve some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically.”
This means even more to me in light of this:
Psalm 111:10 (King James Version)
10The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
More thought on this later, I’m sure…
Wow, has blogging become the monster that eats my spare time!?! Look, I have 2 (technically 3, but that’s not important now…) blogs, yet no time to write on them, or so it seems… Suddenly everyone I know starts conversations with, “I see on your blog you’re……” Instead of keeping me in touch with friends and family, I sometimes feel it’s driving us further apart, for what is there left to talk about if they’ve already read what you’re doing??? Not to mention, there’s the feeling of, “do I have anything interesting to say???” I used to post about our house search, then we moved. Then I switched to our quest for a country-lifestyle friendly car. We have one now. Posting about church spun everyone up. So does posting my opinion on tons of other stuff. So you say, well, if you put it out there, people will respond… But I Hate CONFLICT. I feel what I feel, and if you don’t agree, that’s FINE, but please, just leave me out of it. Ugh. Now with everything I type I wonder whose toes I’ll be stepping on. (Will I be stepping on them just by admitting I’m afraid of stepping on them for instance…) Honestly I’m not out to change the world. But how much longer can I blog over here about the day to day nothing & everything of my life? There are some blogs I read daily, and I’ve begun to wonder what it is I like about them. Simple graphics, nice pics, short posts, on interesting topics. (a laundry list of to do’s this is not…) You’d think with a blog title like “My Simple Gifts” I could figure this out… I think a journal would have been easier………..
Having posted for a while now on my other blog I realized that it wasn’t always quite working for me. I wanted a place to ramble about other things. So here we are.
I was pondering boxes today. Not cardboard or wood, mind you, but people boxes. You know, those things other people are always trying to fit you into. Square peg, roung hole and all that. Why do you think that is? Is it so hard for us to accept each other at face value that we must try to make each other conform to a particular box? Or is it that we, as humans, are so uncomfortable with the unknown that we must try to immedately cram new people into a known box, label, or stereotype rather than face our own fears and insecurities.
Let’s take me for example. Put me in an easy box. Wife. Mom. Go out on a limb and you might qualify it enough to say stay-at-home mom. Done. Taken care of. But how much does that tell you about me? Not much really. If I tell you you can’t describe me by my relationships but must describe me, personally, does it become more difficult? Could you describe yourself this way? You see… when I tried to come up with a user name, I found it to be far more difficult and time consuming that the task warranted. I already have a blog where I talk about homeschooling my kids, doing stuff for my family, and what the collective WE have been up to.
But what about me. Ballcapnoveralls used to be what I used, but that’s not a great fit now… 3jemsmom, kinda cutesy, but would work in a pinch… mrsdobbs… too much explaining to do…so, nope, not that either… Try to describe yourself in one short phrase that no one else has come up with, and still avoiding the lame-ness factor (me123@…), and it’s suddenly crucial that you have some real sense of your personal identity. I’m still not sure I hit my mark… but I started thinking about things that were meaningful to me. My family. My home. My own beliefs, opinions and convictions… Not that I don’t want he world to know I’m a happy wife and mom to 3 girls, but, It’s more than that. The shaker song, “Simple Gifts” came to mind while I was pondering this, and I think it fits.
“‘Tis a gift to be simple, ’tis a gift to be free, ’tis a gift to come down where you ought to be, and when you find yourself in the place just right, it will be in the valley of love and delight.”
My life is a simple gift. Quiet, uncomplicated, yet very satisfying. I am who I am. I get to decided every day what creative thing I want to do next. Drawing houses is always a great option, maybe someday we’ll live in house I’ve designed. Scrapbook? Write? Sew? Cook something new? Read something new? Or just hang out with Al and the girls, now that life is like a vacation for us from Monday morning through Friday afternoon. It’s like going to college all over again and just auditing all the great electives.
3 things I did this week that might surprise you:
1. I learned a few basic pronunciations of phrases in Setswana, the language of Botswana, as a book I’ve been reading made me curious.
2. Did more online research into the long term side effects of certain anti-convulsant drugs, and the long range implications of this for us as a family.
3. Conquered my IMMENSE fear of heights and walked across a cable bridge at Fall Creek Falls SP that 7 years ago I swore I’d never walk on again.
I think I’m going to need a bigger box.
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